Time and Space

Recently a teacher said this, which has stuck with me since:

“Sometimes it’s better to walk away from the student and let them de-escalate themselves. Sometimes they just need space.”

I was trying to console a primary aged student in a special needs school. Despite many attempts to help them de-escalate, nothing was getting through, and to be honest, I was making it worse. And sure enough, by leaving them sitting at the table, they calmed down.

“Allowing personal space shows respect, keeps you safer, and tends to decrease a person’s anxiety. If you must enter someone’s personal space to provide care, explain what you’re doing so the person feels less confused and frightened.”

- Crisis Prevention Institute

Give them space. A chance to breathe and gather their thoughts.

By doing this, they also practice that skill of internal regulation and reflection. They get autonomy to choose how to calm down, without having to depend on someone else.