Names

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language”

That is principle 3 of Dale Carnegie’s book “How to win friends and influence people”.

Yes the title sounds weird, but the concepts inside are so good - would highly recommend.

The concept is simple: Make an effort to remember people’s names. It makes them feel seen and heard, and creates much stronger relationships.

Importantly - I don’t believe the reason why it’s so effective is because of the name itself. It’s what the name implies.

They care enough about me to remember my name

I feel special

I matter

It’s the fact that people are acknowledged amongst a sea of people, despite how big the school or workplace is. We feel appreciated, which in turn makes us want to show up more and do more.

Reading this chapter reminded me of my principal at school. I never saw her interact with students (unless if they were in leadership positions), and could bet a lot of money she didn’t know who the hell most of us were.

This is completely different to another principal of mine, who would speak to and joke around with all the teachers and students. This made it clear to everyone:

I care about you.

But what was amazing was how this influenced the atmosphere of the school. It was fun, playful, supportive.

So if you want to create something like this, the easiest way to begin is by remembering names.

A technique from the book if you struggle with this is:

• If you don’t hear their name correctly, ask “sorry could you repeat that?”
• If you still don’t get it, ask for it to be spelt out.
• After all that, if you still don’t get it, then laugh and nod, and cry internally.

(The last step is optional).