The Art of Proving Someone Wrong

When someone’s wrong, we have the visceral URGE to stop them right then and there and point out why they’re wrong.

It happens all the time on the internet too, where no one’s listening and always trying to prove a point.

Internet hooman 1: “Life would be better without goats”

Internet hooman 2: “How. dare. you, goats have feelings too”

Internet hooman 1: “… Life would be a lot better without goats”

What happens?

Egos gets bruised, and we shut down. If we realise they’re right then PSHHH of course we won’t openly admit it - they don’t deserve that luxury.

As Dale Carnegie says:

”[changing someone’s mind by pointing out they’re wrong] arouses opposition and makes the listener want to battle with you before you even start.”

So what’s the solution?

Be SUBTLE with your actual point, and show you respect the other person’s opinion.

e.g A student says they’re dumb:

First, show you understand their struggle.

“Miss I’m stupid and I’ll never get it.”

“I totally understand your frustration, attempting it again and again and getting nowhere is pretty defeating.”

Then shift to addressing what you actually want to say (ie “you’re not dumb”)

“Though I’ve noticed the incremental wins you’ve made from this question. Even if you didn’t get the final answer, you’ve worked towards it. If anything, there just needs to be more time and dedicated study on it, and there will be improvements. What do you think about that?”

Get them to realise for themselves that they’re not dumb, instead of trying to convince them from the get-go.