Issues of self worth in School

“What plans do you have today?”

“What’ve you been up to?”

“Any interesting happen this past week?”

These questions all seem harmless. I mean, it’s great as a conversation starter - especially if you have NO idea what else to say to them. But underneath it all comes a rather toxic mindset:

To be worthwhile, I need to DO something.

Whether from our capitalist society, or the grind culture we see nowadays, I’ve noticed more and more a pressure to do, achieve, and have a decent enough reply to these questions. If I reply:

“Nothing really, just read a book and watched tv” it seems (at least to me) that I’m lazy, or a slob, or a stain on society.

My interview with psychotherapist Dr Sia (episode 47) fleshes out this WARPED idea of self worth, and how our childhood is inherently linked to all of this.

Simply put, if we’re praised and given attention for doing things as a kid, we’ll associate DOING as a symbol of our self-worth.

Self worth in schools

After discussing this with a teacher friend (ie friend who’s a teacher), she mentions how the constant pressure to achieve in school (which leads to praise and recognition) adds to this mentality too. That if you don’t participate in co-curricular activities, or don’t achieve high grades, people won’t really notice you… So what does that tell us?

If I DO something, then it’s positive.

So we crave to do more, trying to add to our self worth. But in reality (back to Dr Sia), our self worth is INDEPENDENT from what we do.

We are wholly worthwhile already, and activities are only an accessory. We need to feel comfortable with who we are, and not use activities and accolades to prove ourselves to others.

Thoughts? Would love to hear them.