Assertiveness in Schools

Asserting yourself doesn’t mean being an ass, or not thinking about other people’s thoughts and feelings. Instead it’s finding the balance between that and getting trodden on.

We’re so consumed with teaching hard facts, knowledge, theory, that we ignore important LIFE skills like:

• communication
• establishing boundaries
• living aligned with our values (and knowing what they are in the first place)

Don’t get me wrong, theory can be 100% useful, but just like anything, it’s only useful when it’s RELEVANT to our lives.

I’ll pick on maths as an example.

We all need a basic level of maths to work within society: Addition, fractions, percentages, unit conversions etc. But the maths we learn in high school is way beyond what is actually PRACTICAL (for those not interested in being a maths major).

On the flip side, we are interacting with people all the time, creating/maintaining/breaking relationships, making hard decisions… so isn’t it ironic that the skills we need the most and will use every. single. day aren’t being taught?

Assertion is just another communication skill. It means being clear with our boundaries and using it to resolve conflict, while still empathising with the other person/people.

How we actually teach this?

That’s the tough part. Trying to fabricate an environment where people ‘role play’ assertiveness is VERY different to actually doing it in real life.

While we can teach bare bones communication in the classroom, why not expand that learning to real life? Meaning, create activities that connect them with the community (volunteer work such as assisting aged care), and get them interacting with different people! The more people they work with, the more opportunity they have to be assertive.

The gap between what is taught in school and what life demands honestly boggles my mind. We need more life skills, skills we’ll use no matter whether we’re 5 or 90.